Two weeks ago, I returned from a patient advocacy trip to London. I loved it! I met amazing people and along with other patient experts, I was able to contribute to what it is like to get diagnosed and live with rheumatoid arthritis. Then, three short days later I drove to Springfield, IL for three days of conferences for work. I also presented with two co-workers. All great stuff, but as I finally find myself with a bit of time, I realize I am craving CONTROL.
Control is often looked at as a negative, but I don’t see it that way. Control is getting back to normalcy. To me that includes catching up with my husband and two children. I miss not hearing (or maybe just not listening to) their day to day stories. I miss control over what is on my desk and making to-do lists on sticky notes. I want control over the carpet that has been taken over by a shedding border collie and all the twigs and grass she carries in. Control for me is planning out my day rather than having it planned for me.
Fourteen years with rheumatoid arthritis has made me appreciate control. Years flew by where I wasn’t sure if I would have control over zipping my own pants or driving myself to work. Pain took over my body and mind where I felt control slipping away in many areas of life. Today, when I gain control back over my life, even simple things like planning out our meals for the week, I feel myself again.
What control did you lose with RA and how have you regained control over your life?