It’s a funny thing about growing up. When Sophia was younger she wanted to be just like her momma. She told me often that she hoped she would be short like me, our hair was cut in a similiar style and a few short years ago we had matching pajamas which had to be worn on the same nights. Everything about me was wonderful – I could see it in her eyes and it was the greatest feeling. Now, at 11 year old, she still admires her momma, but she needs to feel different and unique…..she needs to be Sophia, not a copy of me. She wants to stand alone in her beauty and truly I understand that and feel for her each time I hear someone say, “You look just like your mom.” She tells me, “It isn’t that I don’t think you are pretty.” I know that. She doesn’t have to explain it to me. Last night we went to dinner at my niece’s house and as soon as we walked in she said, “Oh, you got her hair cut just like your mom’s.” I could see Sophia melting as she always does when she hears this type of comment. Later she said, “I don’t want to look like a 41 year old woman.” He-he. I am 42 and just shaved off a year!
We are going for haircuts this week and I have a feeling Sophia is now thinking about going a different direction with her hair than she was a few days ago which makes me sad. Not sad that she doesn’t want to look like me, but sad that she feels stuck in looking like her momma and not looking like Sophia. For me, I see many similarities in our look, of course, but I also see so many differences. I see Sophia who is so beautiful and unique it brings tears to my eyes sometimes just to look at her. That is what she wants from everyone – just to be seen as Sophia and not a copy of her momma.