What Am I Thinking?

This is how I felt yesterday:Why is it that one day you can feel completely beautiful and sure of your decision to go back to your natural hair color and then you see a photo of yourself and all of that changes?

Steve wonderfully responded to my insecurities with, “I think you look good! I think you look pretty and healthy. Your hair looks good to me. I am not sure what you are seeing that looks bad.”

I also read this beautiful poem that brought tears to my eyes but again makes me feel strong in my decision to be “the real me behind meds and hair coloring”.

by Sharon R. Poet

I stood in the line where every body goes,
To fix the aging form of skin, hair or nose.
But strong as stone,
I stood as I studied my reflection,
And found these words,
I felt, in my body’s deep rejection,
“Each crevice built for tears – these wrinkles on my face,
Are proof of precious years that NOTHING can erase.
In the grey of my fine hair, I sometimes see a glow.
Please handle it with care and let the magic show.
The sparkle in my eyes grows brighter every day.
Please don’t cover it up. Don’t take that away.
Every blemish, bump or sag, in the eyes of the weak,
May make me a hag.
But HEAR these words I speak.
I want to remain human – the Truest kind of all.
Don’t stretch, tweak or fix me. I don’t want to be a doll.
I may not fit in, because of how I feel.
But I don’t want to change.
So, let me just be REAL.”

7 thoughts on “What Am I Thinking?

  1. I am still proud of every gray hair on my head, and every wrinkle on my face. I am NOT 20 or 30 or even 40, I am every day of 56 and counting. Why would I ever want to look that age that I don’t want to ever be again? Besides, I can get discounts on meals and rooms at hotels because I have gray hair. What a deal!


  2. I have never seen you with any other hair color, but I think you look great! (I have the same hair color, brown) Anyhow, I think it is a shame that we live in a world that encourages us to be something that we truly aren’t by changing our looks and telling us that how we look gives us worth. I know we have been brainwashed by the world, but if you think about it, it is really silly. God made us the way we are, naturally! I admire women who keep the gray in their hair. There was a time when the older generations were looked up to and admired, we now look down upon aging, and do all we can to avoid, even though it is a natural part of life and something that should be looked well upon. I say, go against the flow and be natural instead of fake. 🙂 I try to tell my daughter that she is precious, so that I don’t focus so much on looks by only saying how beautiful or pretty she is. I don’t want her to think that is the greater importance. I use this Bible verse to remind me what is important:“Be beautiful on the inside, in your heart, with a gentle and quiet spirit which is so PRECIOUS to God.”Can you tell I have strong opinions about this subject? 🙂It is probably because I struggled a lot worrying about looks as I grew up. I thought my worth came from looks and that I wouldn’t be liked if I didn’t look good. Now, I am not saying we should be slobs, but I think there is a happy medium in there somewhere.


  3. AHH! I just figured out you have a BLOG! duh. In my relationship, I think my husband’s grey hair is hot. It makes me think of how we are living our lives together, growing old together – well starting to. I like grey hair.


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